Friday, March 20, 2009


Four days, spring skiing, good friends....I had an awesome little get away. It was my first time away from Jack and I think I did ok. I missed both my men but it was so nice to have a break. I went to Aspen with very dear friends who I traveled with years ago. We had a ski in/ski out condo at the base of Snowmass. The weather was beautiful - you can't beat spring skiing. I got a wonderful massage, sat in the hot tub, had a night drinking tequila with some college guys! ( i was the loser Mrs. Robinson!) It was so relaxing which is just what I needed to gear up for IVF.

John also had a great four days bonding with Jack. I think it was so good for both of them. In fact, Jack would not come to me when I got home! not really the homecoming I had dreamt of, but it was nice to see him want his Daddy and hold him around the neck. I think we both got a feeling of what the other's day to day life is like.

Here are some pics!


Good FriendsApres Ski

Reliving my College Days!


Well...I had a blood test and ultrasound on Wed and everything looked great, so I started the Gonal (fertility drug). So now I am on two shots a night, both easy, and in my belly. I get my first ck up on Monday to see how I am responded to the drugs. Most likely, I will be on the stimulating drugs for 10 days which puts us right around next weekend for extraction. It is all starting to happen fast, hard to believe I may be pregnant by Easter! I am trying to keep a positive attitude while being realistic. I am continuing the acupuncture, I have an appointment tomorrow - where she will help with Egg development and lining. I imagine there has to be something said for Eastern medicine, it's been around long enough. I have good vibes around all of this, maybe because I have Jack and the "pressure is off" so to speak, I just think this will work and we will have another baby. So c'mon ovaries let's get some eggs going!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

God's hand

When i was walking down the adoption path, and started to be really open about it, everywhere I turned, someone was connected to adoption. My Father's nurse when he was dying walked in on me sobbing one day and I confessed my heart about everything included this journey we were on trying to adopt - and she said: "that's awesome, I'm adopted!" My good friend from NYC gently reminded me that she too was adopted. One of my Dr.'s said to me: "Adoption....that is how I came to my family!" God continually put people in my life that affirmed our decision, and supported us along the way. It is always better to feel you are walking along side people, instead of alone.

Now that we are full force into IVF (just gave myself a shot) everywhere I go, people start to talk to me about fertility. Most of the women I have encountered lately, that I hadn't known before are doing it, have done it, or have children from it. And each time I ask the same questions, (transfer one or two? do the shots in the rear hurt? does Lupron make you crazy?!) I am relegated with stories, given affirmation, and offers of support. Here's God's hand once again.

Why do I have such a hard time seeing what it right in front of me? That my faith and my God truly walk beside me? I was in my MOPS meeting (christian woman's group) and we were talking about how we all feel that we fall short when it comes to our faith. That we have - well speaking for myself, that I have such a hard time to keep God in the center of my life. He is gently nudging me all the I walk or stumble along this path God keeps putting people in my life to support me. I suppose it's the closet thing he can offer.

I am thankful, and I do find peace and solace in hearing other peoples stories of struggle or success. There is truly something about not walking alone.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

IVF - Phase 2

Shots start tonight! These are the easy ones - in the belly or thigh -sub-cutaneous. I need to learn how to give them to myself because I am leaving for...ASPEN on Sat. Looking forward to 4 days with friends skiing and relaxing. It will be my first time away from Jack for so long!

If I panic and can't give myself the shots, I'm sure one of my friends will be able to. There shouldn't be too many side effects of this drug. This is to suppress my system so that I don't ovulate. When I get back I will start the fertility drugs.