One Year Ago

It was about this time last year that I gave up all hope of ever having a baby. We had been "on profile" with our agency for over 14 months, lived through a failed match and had just found out that yet again we were not chosen. Our nursery had been complete and empty for almost a year, and when I got the call that once again we would not be parents I ripped apart our entire nursery, silently with a dear friend who showed up with coffee and asked no questions. She just worked with me side by side, my grief overtaking our space. I truly felt that day that perhaps we had gone down the wrong road and that parenthood was something that we would never have.

I booked a trip to Cancun with sister vowing to not think, talk, write, read, breath adoption. It had become all consuming and I just needed to let it go for awhile. We enjoyed three beautiful days in the sun at the end of January and on our last day while laying by the pool, I had a premonition. Something was happening at home on the adoption front but I tried not to think about it.

We landed in Chicago the next day and I checked my voicemail at home and there was a long message on there about a baby boy. What!?! I quickly paged my husband and asked him what this was all about. Apparently, my friend N had called the night before about an email she had received from her friend who knew we were trying to adopt. A woman had sent a mass email on behalf of her cousin in Ohio basically saying that they were looking for a family for a 7 week old baby boy with a heart condition and if anyone knew a potential adoptive family to have them call.

Well the call on the VM were all the details of the baby's birth family. I made the first phone call standing outside Ohare airport freezing to death and talked to S - the baby's birth grandmother. After a pretty quick conversation, answering some basic question - I told her that I would forward my profile and maybe we could talk again. After 14 months, and all the random situations we had been in that didn't work out, never in my wildest thoughts did I think this phone call would lead to our son......